Category Archives: Funchilde – isms

Signs of Friendship

A five hour dinner followed by a 2 hour breakfast the next day. Random You-tube clips of the Chapelle Show and a 3 way conversation on race, religion and relationships. Pinot Noir and a toast to new loves, prolific careers, “dufflebag dogs”, and how if we put all of our travels together, we would have covered most of 6 continents, and how none of us could ever live in Atlanta.

Evidence of a Life Well Lived, or Debauchery..

Things that Actually Came Out of People’s Mouths:

  1. The first time I went to jail…
  2. Did anyone’s underwear come off?
  3. Work is like school without the chocolate milk, the playground and the nap. School pretty much rocked.
  4. New love is like a Slimfast shake, it’s probably healthier than what you had before, but you’ll probably be looking around for something that’s no good for you in a couple of hours.
  5. I love you, and I would bail you out of jail, but we can’t be discussing why we have to throw away your bloodstained shirt.
  6. All Black people receive Mary J. Blige’s cd’s as soon as a new one comes out…it’s one of the perks.
  7. I don’t want to marry her, but she doesn’t need to know that!
  8. Yeah, if you ever want to get lucky, don’t say that. In fact, silence is sexy.
  9. My idea of a perfect relationship is from 6-10. No, not people, 6-10pm. Dinner, wine, listen to a little NPR, then s/he has to go home. No rolling around in my 400 threadcount sheets.
  10. She’s crazy, and I mean crazy crazy, not the good kind of crazy!

Things that Actually Came Out of My Mouth:

What I said: It’s good to hear your voice

What I meant: I miss you

What I said: I miss you

What I meant: I wish you were here

What I said: I wish you were here

What I meant: I wish you were here right now

What I said: That sounds interesting

What I meant: That sounds terrible

What I said: I think we can make that happen

What I meant: Call me when you figure that out

What I said: You owe me $79.00

What I meant: Where’s my moolah punk?

 

Zodiac Maniac

I’m not “into” astrology per se, but a good friend has me hooked on checking my horror-scope every now and then (I like Washington Post online/Yahoo). The funny thing is…I am pretty much the stereotypical Aries personified. I would consider myself “self-absorbed” versus “self-centered” but will admit that as a single, child-free, eldest child and entreprenuer….uhm, why wouldn’t I be? :-)  And yes, I know that having a blog is evidence enough!

I don’t think I’m overbearing, but I know that I have a “strong” personality. That gets balanced by my sincere curiosity about people and my (I pray) fairly complete lack of judgement of others. One of the best compliments I received recently (I hope it was a compliment!) was that I “treat everyone like they are the most interesting person you’ve met and you sincerely want to know all about them without regard to their “status” or what they can do for you.” 

I think on the surface that this is an awesome compliment (I’m claiming it as such!) but it ties back into the natural “egotism” (not always bad) of the Aries. I am generally so self confident that whatever I want to happen I can MAKE happen that I don’t think in terms of “needing” someone else to get there/get something I want. Unless of course we’re talking about nookie (and really, aren’t we always talking about that one way or another?) in that case, that is where the famous Aries charm comes in handy.

Contrary to our external personalities, Aries tend to be pretty emotional characters, very intuitive and empathetic. We’re highly romantic and fond of grand gestures and small pleasures alike. We like making money, but aren’t obsessed with it, believing there’s more where it came from.

The things I love about my sign (myself?) are: Generous, Intelligent, Charismatic, Leader, Passionate, Adventurous, Loyal, Romantic, Virtuous.

Things YOU might not like about an Aries: We’re Chatty, Stubborn, Impatient with Details and Easily Distracted, We typically don’t like routine and detest losing at almost anything.

What about you? Do you subscribe to astrological theory? Do you “match” your sign’s qualities and characteristics? Does your date/mate match theirs? 

 

Aries
March 21 – April 19 

 

Aries is the first Sign of the Zodiac, and that’s pretty much how those born under this Sign see themselves: first. Aries are the leaders of the pack, first in line to get things going. Whether or not everything gets done is another question altogether, for an Aries prefers to initiate rather than to complete. Do you have a project needing a kick-start? Call an Aries, by all means. The leadership displayed by Aries is most impressive, so don’t be surprised if they can rally the troops against seemingly insurmountable odds — they have that kind of personal magnetism. An Aries won’t shy away from new ground, either. Those born under this Sign are often called the pioneers of the Zodiac, and it’s their fearless trek into the unknown that often wins the day. Aries is a bundle of energy and dynamism, kind of like a Pied Piper, leading people along with its charm and charisma. The dawning of a new day — and all of its possibilities — is pure bliss to an Aries. 

Crazy Stew

Life is kind of chill these days, lots going on, but no one thing is out of control, I feel dare I say…balanced…sort of? I LOVED the response to the last blog entry. I’m always fascinated by what people like to read and how they came to love the habit. I think Erica said somewhere that book recommendations are like wine, totally dependent upon personal taste. I LOVE Shiraz for example, but you can keep your bottle of Beaujolaise! But I digress. I leave you with a “stew” of things that are amusing, disturbing, and hopefully interesting. At the worst, you’ll kill 10 minutes of your workday!

[1] My friend and Semester at Sea Colleague Michael Maniates has an article in the Washington Post (WaPo) about how our need for ‘easy’ ways to go green, isn’t actually getting anything done. He’s smart + funny, so you’ll enjoy him as much as I do!

[2] Speaking of articles, yall know I love Malcolm Gladwell, who do I love MORE than Malcolm? David Sedaris of course, who has a hilarious piece in Esquire titled: “Six to Eight Black Men” and it is as ridonkulous (as SpinChick would say) as it sounds.

[3] I’m a badass/dumbass (take your pick).

Example number one: I was out until almost 2am on Friday night/Sat a.m. and my friend/colleague SpinChick still managed to drag me to an 8am Spin Class. I wasn’t particularly conversant at that time but I do remember mumbling something about “I hate your guts” but I’m not sure. At one point I looked over and she had rolled up her right t-shirt sleeve and she had a fake tattoo of a diesel truck on her bicep and I almost fell off the bike laughing.

Example number two: I went to bed considerably earlier on Saturday night but with more wine in my system (what?! you’ve never heard of the wine diet? it’s kind of like south beach with less food and more tannins) and managed to make it to the 9am Spin Class with KJ in tow. There were no fighting words or fake tattoos that time. But lots and lots of 80’s classic rock music.

Example number three: I am doing an Introductory Karate course in the Shorin Ryu style and I’m enjoying it. But every now and then I get the feeling that I’m a little too old to be messing around with this. My 23 year old private tutor has been studying this style for….16 years and after a workout with him on Friday night I finally understood the reasoning behind hip replacement surgery. So if you see me hobbling down the street with an uneven gait…don’t even stop to say Hi, just keep it moving and let me live my teenaged dreams in my (near) middle-aged body.

[4] I finished Kickboxing Geishas and I loved.every.page. It was a fun, fast read and having been to a couple of the cities in Japan that the author visits made it more accessible. Definitely a recommended read for any Japanophiles. I am hoping to keep my eyes open long enough to start Stumbling on Happiness.

[5] I have a good friend who has returned to the often baffling, sometimes seedy and always entertaining world of dating. I have decided that observing a close friend date and experiencing their ups and downs is WAYYYYY better than actually doing it myself. All the fun, none of the expense and no STDs!

Speaking of dating, here’s two quotes that will be not at all applicable to my dear readers:

1. “You don’t pay prostitutes to sleep with you, you pay prostitutes to LEAVE.” (from the film Four Brothers which I watched saturday night w/ KJ).

2. “You’ll always lose money chasing women, but you’ll never lose women chasing money.”

There you have it folks! Words to live by! Aren’t you glad you checked in? Don’t worry about that slimy, nauseous feeling, it’ll pass!

Hey, can someone buy this for me? I heard this record out at a martini bar recently, and I must make it mine!

 

Happy Happy Turkey Day, Yall

I woke up yesterday and looked out the window to find snow, snow on the ground, snow falling. I cut my workday short and got the hell out of New England. This morning I shed my layers, wool sweater, Columbia wicking socks, fleece and sped towards my parent’s house in the glorious, 70 degree sunshine. I am truly thankful for changes in lattitude. I miss my housemates though.

I am grateful for so many things, and this year has been magical. The last couple of years really, and I thank everyone who has touched me and those I love in some way. I’m also glad that my mother’s mother is still hanging in there. And sometimes, that’s enough. I’m also grateful that my Dad is cooking turkey, my Mom has made sauerkraut and sweet potatoe pie, my nephew made his 5 cheese and macaroni and his Eclair cake. So I will be the recipient of all of their culinary talents. I will definitely be giving Thanks for that!

So, are you cooking or are you showing up at someone else’s house to eat? Holler at us in the comments.

 

Wisdom

“There are no shortcuts in life or in love. This pain must be felt. The alternative is much worse. It’s what makes us special, what makes us beautiful, what makes us worthy; the pain of how we love. But that pain is accompanied by something else, isn’t it? Hope. With your pain, there is hope. And that is where you are. Somewhere between agony and optimism and prayer. So you’re human. You’re alive. And that is what we have.”

 -unknown