Category Archives: Funchilde – isms

To Hope (It’s all about perspective)


“I learned if you try you can fly, if you don’t then you won’t, so try ’til you die.” -Juelz Santana

I lurve this quote, I’ve been singing it for weeks. I can’t get it out of my head, its a daily mantra to keep pushing, to keep trying, to keep getting back up. Someone once told me: “No matter what happens, you’ll be alright, because you’ll either be dead, or you’ll be alright.”

-i lost my cell phone this weekend
-i found out that there’s a 95% chance that I won’t get into a top PhD program
-i’m working 90 hours/week

To everyone who is working on big dreams, waiting for answers, hoping that things come together, praying for relief or an end to hard times….don’t stop. Our success, failures, trials and triumphs are generally a matter of perspective. It’s cliche’ but I’m definitely a “glass half-full” type of gal. I’m so optimistic that if there’s ANY water in the glass I’ll try to find a way to make that worth celebrating. And I truly think that attitude is 85% of the secret to my success.

-a cabbie is overnighting my cell phone from NY
-i am focusing on the 5% chance that I DO have to get into a top program
-i lurve what i’m doing and it doesn’t feel like work (most days)

Atlanta, GA: 73 Stories*


*73 stories up = the view from the Sun Dial restaurant at the Atlanta Westin.

The weekend in numbers:

Voicemails still unchecked: 23
Text messages received over 4 days: 52
Bar Tab at the Sun Dial for 5: $307
VIP Invites to Black Enterprise Magazine Party: 1
How many people I got into the BE Party: 5

The weekend in quotes:
F: Where are we going again?
LBoogie: The Leopard Lounge…
F: No good can come of this.
S: We ended up at a place called the Twisted Taco
F: This has been the best worst weekend ever
Cabbie #1: That’s not a man (pointing out a male transvestite prostitute)
Funchilde: I wonder how much that costs…
Stella: Well, prostitutes are the best known bargainers and negotiators in the world
Funchilde: Really? How do you know that?
Stella: I watch HBO
Funchilde: Is that a tv/dvd player in the front seat of the cab?
Stella: yes, and he’s showing nigerian evangelical christian music videos
*stella proceeds to sing along
Cabbie #2: I went to the best school in the world…
Cabbie #2: Prairie View, Class of ’79
Stella: Do I look like a flight attendant in this suit?
Funchilde: Every time I look at you I want to check the stock price for American Airlines
Funchilde looks puzzled as Stella puts on GINORMOUS bracelet
Stella: What? This is FASHION!
Funchilde: Wonder Woman called, she wants her bracelet back.


Siddiq: I just need to make…like…$180,000


HUGE news coming Yall. HUGE I tell you. Later though. I’m busy recovering from acting like I was 23 years old instead of 33 in Atlanta this weekend. Let’s just say that FUNCHILDE is going international baby! Add this link to your favorites…you’re gonna be hooked.

Don’t hate the player…hate the game!

PS: A very Happy Birthday to Momma D aka Ms. Darleen! 


My Philosophy (or Why I Don’t B*tch)


This photo is a result of an internet app that lets you customize the things that are currently on your “poop list” as my Mom would say, as presented by everybody’s favorite political genius Stephen Colbert. So those things are the things that make me want to rant as of right now.

Karen over at Chookooloonks blogs about “Why I Don’t B*tch” and I have been thinking about this topic alot lately. The last several months as I moved into the reality of my dream, I received e-mail from people all over the world asking me how I did/do it, what’s my secret for living a seemingly perfect life, how do I stay so positive?, etc. I was at once flattered and alarmed. In general what you see on my blog is really how I am (all the commenters who know me in real life (irl) please feel free to confirm or contradict that), and I’ve said for years that I’m one of the happiest people that I know. And its true. Not because I have the magic bullet to a perfect life, but because a) I believe that a certain amount of your outlook is predetermined by genetics and my parents might not have passed on the “skinny” gene, but they sure did make up for it with the “optimist” gene. b) I believe even more of your outlook is pure decision. I am determined to be happy and live my life as fully as I can. c) I’ve been THROUGH some things (mother’s critical illness, divorce) and I realized that I will always be going through something(s) but as long as I’m alive and in control of my mind and body, history bodes well that I’m not the first person to experience X and that even if Y happens I’ll be okay.

Another reason I decided to join the 12 million + bloggers out here in the blogosphere is not because I felt like I had something to say that hasn’t been said before, but I hope that the WAY I say it brings a smile to your face, inspires you to pursue YOUR big dreams and gets me a couple of points with the Big Guy upstairs, so that when I slide into my grave: sideways, giggling and thoroughly exhausted from living a full life, I’ll have a shot at some wings, a halo and the chance to be a guardian angel for some poor sap who is breathing their first breath with a lifetime of joy and pain ahead of them.

I think this topic is especially appropriate in light of the 5th anniversary of 9/11. Anyone who knows me will tell you that since that day, my philosophy – which alternately drives people crazy and makes them smile at the same time is:

“If this is the worst thing that happens to me today/this month/this year (depending on the scale), then that’s alright with me!” Even in the hardest situations I find myself saying this with a smile on my face or at the least in my voice – and it changes EVERYTHING. But mostly it changes ME. So here is to you dear reader, for all that you are and all that you will be, I wish for you the sun, moon and stars on a platter, and the knowledge that if you’re going through Hell, the best thing to do is to just.keep.going.  Trouble don’t last always.

So Fortun(ate)


Someone stole our family dog.
The (brand new) washer in The Dupe unit B is on the fritz.
The airconditioner in The Dupe unit B is dying.

BUT, I got the best fortune ever after chowing down on some very yummy chinese food with friends.

“You will be traveling and coming into a fortune.”

I can live with that.

Public Service Announcements

[1] I figured out why I have gotten sick of Mexican food so quickly as of late. Its the corn tortillas. I lucked into another cooking class in Oaxaca (Thanks Travis, commenter extraordinaire!) and my teacher told me that in the US and on Baja they mostly use flour tortillas which to me don’t have much of a taste at all so you can actually enjoy the ingredients. Most of Mexico and certainly in the south they LURVE corn tortillas. To me the corn tortillas have a very distinct, maize-y/grainy taste and makes everything taste the same whether you are eating pollo (chicken) or carne (meat). A fellow traveler recently told me that I could ask for flour tortillas as some places will have both especially around Oaxaca where some of the more traditional dishes go better with the flour. Who knew??

[2] Spanish is a fascinating and dangerous language. It is so close to english at times that you get sucked into thinking that you can subsitute or intuit words that should be the same in both languages. Unfortunately that isn’t that case.

Exhibit A: I should warn you that if you are standing in your pajamas with your towel across your shoulders asking the hostel office lady for “Sopa, por favor?” “Hay Sopa Senora?” that when she looks at you quizzically and points you to the restaurant across the street, you might want to go check your spanish dictionary and come back and ask for “Jabon Por Favor?” (Soap please?) because “Sopa” isn’t soap at all, its “soup” actually its “Zupa” but you get my point. I’m just trying to help yall out here.

Exhibit B: After making various jokes and inspiring much laughter in both english and spanish with a mix of international travelers, you might not want to exclaim that you are “muy embarazada!” to illustrate your embarasement, because you’ll suffer some self-esteem lowering moments when you figure out that “embarazado” is the word for “pregnant” not “embarassed” and that people were trying to look at your belly to determine if you were joking (and just very fond of pasta and beer) or if you really were pregnant. ooops, no wonder people kept trying to keep me from drinking that mezcal! and no, despite the drive-by, dry-humping, I am not pregnant.

*graphic courtesy of

Oaxaca Mexico: The 3 Lies of the Traveler


Mikkel Andrea Jorge, originally uploaded by funchilde.

First, let me tell you that you all are NO help at all. Where is the “voice of reason” when you need it? That said, if I suffer any ill affects from taking your advice and dropping everything and running to Oaxaca, then I will print out your comments for the Judge, God, My Mom…whoever catches me first.

Second, I am hesitant to post the tales of ACTUAL EVENTS on this here blog because the list of people who read this though small, is rather frightening:

1. My Mother
2. My Father
3. My Ex-Mother in Law (yeah, I’m confused too)
4. 3 or more people I have dated have access to this
5. At least one colleague who consults for my biggest client
6. 2 or 3 people that I may or may not have a crush on
7. Several “God fearing” Christian friends who I need to keep praying for me

So, at this time I will only admit that I have actually uttered all 3 of the “3 Lies of the Traveler” which I realized yesterday. I first heard about these from Solbeam, then I think Erik mentioned them and most recently Megan brought up the subject. I remember learning about them for the first time in 2004 and thinking “how cute, those young people” not EVER imagining that I would become a member of the ranks of those nomadic half-truth tellers. What makes them particularly amusing is that you always mean what you are saying at the time.

oh, you want to know what the lies are?

1. I’m not drinking tonight
2. I’m leaving tomorrow
3. I love you


go big

I don’t think I started it, but one of my favorite sayings is: “Go Big or Go Home.” To me “Going Big” is about making a decision to do something with verve, panache, courage..sometimes you just have to step all the way out there and devil be damned, dare the world to try to rain on your parade, knowing you will be alright because your head and heart have nothing but the best hopes for everyone around you.

Jon hits the nail on the head.

“Going big isn’t about making money or not making money. For me it’s about not thinking small anymore. This personal choice has made a huge difference in my life. I’ve been able to work through and get through some difficulties without going supremely crazy. I’ve been better able to wish others well.”

What would you do if you decided to “Go Big” today?

Back up off me

You shine in your ability to realate to and understand others. Good at seeing others’ points of view, you get how people think and feel. You have an uncanny ability to sense true feelings, intentions, and motivations. A natural born leader, you are great at teaching and mediating conflict.

You would make a good counselor, salesperson, politician, or business person.

 mmmkay, I’m gonna get right on that.

**graphic courtesy of: Copyright