Category Archives: Goals

Dirty-Five Years Young

Today is my 35th Birthday.

Maybe if I say or type that enough times it’ll sink in.

Today is my thirty-fifth birthday.

Nope. It’s still surreal. I cannot wrap my head around the fact that I am 15 years from 20 years old and 15 years from being 50 years old. I’m closer to middle-age than to my teenage years, and I only get carded for alcohol purchases if someone is feeling rather cheeky.

I am so blessed and excited to see what the next year brings. Last year I was on a ship, sailing around the world at 20mph with 900 people that I came to adore. A year later, I’m in a tiny hamlet, an ivy-league world away from the sights and sounds of India. No less happy, no less content and no less loved.

I am not scared or anxious about growing older, and in fact have enjoyed the journey so much that you couldn’t pay me to be 30, 25, 17…none of it, again. I will admit though, that I had a mini age-related crisis a few weeks ago. I was in New York for work, hanging out with a bunch of friends late one Saturday night and it was 2 or 3 in the morning and I had a moment of “what am I doing hanging out this late?

I’m almost 35 years old, I should be settled down, with a family and a house. This is no lifestyle for someone in their 30’s!” and I shook it off and toasted my friends, but I remember the moment so clearly that I can smell the air, I remember the quality of the post-midnight light.

“Where are you?” is the question most of my friends ask me when we connect via phone. And the last few days, that is the metaphysical and existential question I’ve been asking myself. And as cheesy as it sounds, I am here.

I am no closer to answers about what my life will LOOK like in the next 3 months, 6 months or year. But I AM closer to what my life should BE about in that time frame. And it is no different than it has been since I started this blog 2+ years ago. I want to live a life less ordinary. I want to inspire others to pursue their dreams and craft and construct the reality, duality, and lifestyle that they desire. I want to consistently choose divinity over devilishness, humanity over self, laughter over gossip, delicious over good.

I want to be good to myself and those around me, to drive fast with the top down, to travel thailand and europe, take a cooking class in italy, fall in love with spinning, learn how to fix my motorcycle, to golf so much my elbows hurt, to make love until we laugh, to lay stretched out in summer grass gazing at stars with white wine coursing through my veins, to cookout with my family in the only backyard that contains a shared history, to watch my nephew grow from boy-to-teen-to-man, to welcome new nieces and nephews, and surround myself with people of substance, my books, my art, my music and the fragrances I adore.

I want, most of all, to be healthy, to stay healthy and remain physically able to move under my own steam. To laugh and play, jump and run, tumble and skip. To be fully functional in body and mind, fit to handle the tasks of daily life and the pleasures in between. Because no matter how old I get, I don’t ever want to grow up. More specifically, I don’t want to grow out. I don’t want to grow out of optimism or pure joy, naps or frenetic movement, dreaming big and day dreams, learning new things and teaching little people, standing up for something or sitting down for cocktails.

I want, most of all, to be vital and vibrant enough to continue to build, maintain and sustain all the wonderful relationships that have enriched 35 years on earth, because without them, I’d just be getting older, but with them, I’m also getting better.






Get Your Bookworm On

The Between Boyfriends Book: A Collection of Cautiously Hopeful Essays

Erica and her boo were talking about their reading habits, how it developed, what they’re reading now and the obstacles to a more robust bibliophilic life. They’ve also taken up a reading challenge which I think is a cool way to push yourself.

I developed the reading habit early on, praised for my abilities in first grade, that compliment fueled an above average vocabulary and a voracious appetite for books. My room as a teenager would be pretty spotless, but if you looked under my bed…dozens of books. My favorites were Judy Blume, Madeline L’Engle and then Stephen King. But I read almost anything, trashy romances, Reader’s Digest Condensed Books, whatever.

I never developed much of a TV habit, even now I haven’t seen my favorite shows (Grey’s Anatomy or 30 Rock) in weeks but I almost always have a book going. I just finished Tourist Season: Stories by Enid Shomer, which I’d recommend if you are into short, character driven stories. I liked it but probably won’t read it again. Prior to that I was reading The Between Boyfriends Book (hilarious!) and Female Chauvanist Pigs (hilarious but smart!) at the same time, which I tend to do, read a “light” tome and something “heavier” at the same time. Sometimes I’ll have 3 books going at once.

Like most readers I have both a physical pile of “To Be Read” and an Amazon Wishlist full of dream books. I’m starting Kickboxing Geishas tonight which I’m looking forward to and I owe a copy of FCP to a friend who is in grad school, but I might have to buy her her own copy because I CAN see reading this one again.

Some of my favorite books of all time:

The World According To Garp, A Prayer For Owen Meany, IT, The Secret History, The Vintner’s Luck, Their Eyes Were Watching God, Honeymoon With My Brother, PUSH, Holidays On Ice, A Memory of Running, Children of Ham, The Alchemist, Vagabonding, The Power of One, The Bible (seriously) and The Way Forward is With a Broken Heart.

One book I’ve tried to read twice and just give up on: Angela’s Ashes by Frank McCourt.

Book Bandwagon that I haven’t jumped on: Harry Potter.

Let’s hear some of yours…

Oh and also, if you are a reader have you ever seriously dated a non-reader or someone with lopsided reading habits from your own? For example, one of my exes didn’t read alot of books but was a ravenous newspaper nerd, another ex doesn’t read alot of fiction but is into finance, real estate and personal development stuff. I was joking with a friend recently and we both agreed that we have fallen a little bit in lurve with someone based solely on their bookshelf. I know, I’m so shallow!


Motorcycle Diaries


My Mint Condition Classic 1980 Suzuki GS250, originally uploaded by funchilde.

I will admit that I felt like a bit of a bad @$$ today towing my new ride down the interstate (nerve wracking!). I decided to get a small, classic bike to tool around and make my mistakes on before I jumped into a several thousand dollar bike with a paint job that would send me to the bank if it got dropped or scratched.

Riding her around the block this evening was worth taking my last motorcycle class a couple of weeks ago. Wherein out of the 4 of us that showed up, I was the ONLY ONE who finished the class and got to ride. Not because I’m JUST THAT COOL, but because I”M THAT MUCH OF A DORK! It was 100 degrees, we had on boots, jeans, long sleeves and helmets. One lady just left and went and sat on a curb. But ahhhh, the wind on my face and the breeze on my arms, the look of awe in the neighborhood kid’s faces (yeah kids, I’m a rockin’ old biker chick) was so worth it. Although I took Jumpstart last summer and then the Basic Rider Course (BRC) to get my license, I decided to take Jump Start again just to make sure I am ready since I haven’t been on a bike since last year.

I’m towing her up to NH and I have an 80% buyback guarantee on her, so I’ll probably upgrade to a 500/600 cc in the spring or summer of next year (if I’m in the country). I should then have enough hours/miles under my belt to take the Experienced Rider Course, which unlike the Jump Start and the Basic Rider courses, you need to have your own bike for and you have to have some experience in order to get the most out of the class.

One thing I totally didn’t expect is that when you buy a bike and get your license, you become part of this underground “family” of riders. I notice “My other car is a motorcycle” stickers now, I wave at people on everything from Harleys (the most popular brand in the US) to Hayabusas (the fastes production bike you can buy). It is a diverse group united by the love of all things on two wheels. I have had deep discussions w/ crazy looking white guys with american flag bandanas and grizzly adams beards and full out “leather” cycle gear and teeny chicks who can barely put their feet on the ground but ride Ducati Monsters! Everyone is welcome into the fold. And is it bad that I half want to laugh at this and half want to join?I promise to always wear my protective gear and to always put safety over style.

If you’re working on some goal or dream, keep putting one foot in front of the other. I still have a big one that eludes me, but I won’t ever stop trying. And if you see a wobbly, grinning, chick on a classic bike, tearing around the neighborhood, slow down and give her a smile and a wave. It’s probably me making a beer run on my bad @$$ motorcycle. Now if I can just figure out how to get my afro into this helmet…..