Dirty-Five Years Young

Today is my 35th Birthday.

Maybe if I say or type that enough times it’ll sink in.

Today is my thirty-fifth birthday.

Nope. It’s still surreal. I cannot wrap my head around the fact that I am 15 years from 20 years old and 15 years from being 50 years old. I’m closer to middle-age than to my teenage years, and I only get carded for alcohol purchases if someone is feeling rather cheeky.

I am so blessed and excited to see what the next year brings. Last year I was on a ship, sailing around the world at 20mph with 900 people that I came to adore. A year later, I’m in a tiny hamlet, an ivy-league world away from the sights and sounds of India. No less happy, no less content and no less loved.

I am not scared or anxious about growing older, and in fact have enjoyed the journey so much that you couldn’t pay me to be 30, 25, 17…none of it, again. I will admit though, that I had a mini age-related crisis a few weeks ago. I was in New York for work, hanging out with a bunch of friends late one Saturday night and it was 2 or 3 in the morning and I had a moment of “what am I doing hanging out this late?

I’m almost 35 years old, I should be settled down, with a family and a house. This is no lifestyle for someone in their 30’s!” and I shook it off and toasted my friends, but I remember the moment so clearly that I can smell the air, I remember the quality of the post-midnight light.

“Where are you?” is the question most of my friends ask me when we connect via phone. And the last few days, that is the metaphysical and existential question I’ve been asking myself. And as cheesy as it sounds, I am here.

I am no closer to answers about what my life will LOOK like in the next 3 months, 6 months or year. But I AM closer to what my life should BE about in that time frame. And it is no different than it has been since I started this blog 2+ years ago. I want to live a life less ordinary. I want to inspire others to pursue their dreams and craft and construct the reality, duality, and lifestyle that they desire. I want to consistently choose divinity over devilishness, humanity over self, laughter over gossip, delicious over good.

I want to be good to myself and those around me, to drive fast with the top down, to travel thailand and europe, take a cooking class in italy, fall in love with spinning, learn how to fix my motorcycle, to golf so much my elbows hurt, to make love until we laugh, to lay stretched out in summer grass gazing at stars with white wine coursing through my veins, to cookout with my family in the only backyard that contains a shared history, to watch my nephew grow from boy-to-teen-to-man, to welcome new nieces and nephews, and surround myself with people of substance, my books, my art, my music and the fragrances I adore.

I want, most of all, to be healthy, to stay healthy and remain physically able to move under my own steam. To laugh and play, jump and run, tumble and skip. To be fully functional in body and mind, fit to handle the tasks of daily life and the pleasures in between. Because no matter how old I get, I don’t ever want to grow up. More specifically, I don’t want to grow out. I don’t want to grow out of optimism or pure joy, naps or frenetic movement, dreaming big and day dreams, learning new things and teaching little people, standing up for something or sitting down for cocktails.

I want, most of all, to be vital and vibrant enough to continue to build, maintain and sustain all the wonderful relationships that have enriched 35 years on earth, because without them, I’d just be getting older, but with them, I’m also getting better.






33 thoughts on “Dirty-Five Years Young”

  1. Happy Birthday D! Sorry I’m not around to serve up the early AM Taco Bell 4th meal… you’re never too old for that.

  2. What a reasont to come to work–to read your newest entry.
    Hope you got my “snail mail”, and had a Happy Day.
    I have some of the same feelings you expressed.
    My main thing is be carefully what you wish for—you might get it.
    I had a real date last Thursday, and I now think that is NOT what I really want. 🙂

  3. Bien dit. I tell people about you, you know, just because you’re kind of a big deal. I hope you had a wonderful birthday and you know that your non-conformist way of life is an inspiration.

  4. Happy belated! I wonder where SG will be in 30 years when she’s celebrating her 35th?!
    We are thinking of you constantly – and love you!

  5. Hey Boot; You know this is the first time I have visited here since your round-da-world cruise. I guess I thought since you were just a phone call away, I didn’t have to follow your blog. Well as it turns out I haven’t talked to you much lately, so….I decided to check your blog to catch up with your latest. You haven’t changed still, funny, sensitive, sweetie, nick-named: Da Boot or D-D-Da-Der. We r doin fine down he’r in ole virginny and I hope this message finds you not knee deep in snow but in full bloom like the spring flowers. Missin you and hope to see you soon…Love Dad

    P.S. Life changes for the betta!

  6. In recent days or weeks, I’ve been asking myself, when have I’ve been happier? Was it on my last vacation, the relaxing days at the beach or the spa? Nope, was it the birth of my children, when I got married,…that was scary…when I went to college, graduated from high school, first kiss, etc. No to all of theses. It’s making your morning coffee, braiding your hair, writing in your books, rubbing your back, telling my jersey-left stories, rescuing you from NYC, watching you laugh and toasting to “lemons”.

    For nearly two decades, things have been chaotic full of both positive and negative professional and personal experiences, new ones, reoccurring ones, fun ones and some very sad ones. These few months have been wonderful, even with “BUMs”.

    What is this thing you ask? It’s the settling into the space getting where we are centered, relaxed, focused, comfortable, safe, and free of worries and stress, the way things ought to be.

    I’m delighted to have you in my life as not only as an “undercover lover” but more importantly as a friend. I sincerely enjoy our conversations, the time we share, your tenderness and care. I look forward to the next time we are together – laughing, kissing, hugging, eating, drinking, and just being still.

  7. I know you are alive. I keep missing you at every turn. I’ve called, I’ve texted, I’ve emailed and I’ve poked you. What do I do next? Call me before I have to leave my children and come look for you!

  8. Where are you? Is everything alright? I have never contacted you before, but you are missing and with no goodbyes…..
    Your cousin

  9. I want to thank you for continued support in my efforts to pursue my quest for knowledge. You have been my biggest supporter, my source of encouragement, and an unwavering advocate of my ability to accomplish my goal. You have accepted the long days and hours involved in this process, while at home or away, without complaint. Again, I thank you for everything and without you; my continued progress would not be possible.

  10. Zach:

    What’s there to complain about? There arent’ too many things sexier than watching someone pursue their dreams despite the obstacles, roadblock, fears and setbacks. My unflagging support stems from the mustard seed faith that I have in your ability to complete the task(s) at hand. As I’ve stated before “my love is conditional!” and one of the conditions is that one day it’ll be me that needs your unwavering support as I pursue my dream(s). And as you’re fond of saying “I can do this [support and champion you] in my sleep.”

    Break a leg baby!

  11. Hi Funchilde – I’m travelling again next month (to Panama) – where have you been? I miss being your blog buddy! I hope all is well with you..

  12. D-

    I thought you were on your trip around the globe by now……post something so I can make an insightful comment that will live in cyberspace for zillions of years.

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