All posts by dia

Evidence of a Life Well Lived, or Debauchery..

Things that Actually Came Out of People’s Mouths:

  1. The first time I went to jail…
  2. Did anyone’s underwear come off?
  3. Work is like school without the chocolate milk, the playground and the nap. School pretty much rocked.
  4. New love is like a Slimfast shake, it’s probably healthier than what you had before, but you’ll probably be looking around for something that’s no good for you in a couple of hours.
  5. I love you, and I would bail you out of jail, but we can’t be discussing why we have to throw away your bloodstained shirt.
  6. All Black people receive Mary J. Blige’s cd’s as soon as a new one comes out…it’s one of the perks.
  7. I don’t want to marry her, but she doesn’t need to know that!
  8. Yeah, if you ever want to get lucky, don’t say that. In fact, silence is sexy.
  9. My idea of a perfect relationship is from 6-10. No, not people, 6-10pm. Dinner, wine, listen to a little NPR, then s/he has to go home. No rolling around in my 400 threadcount sheets.
  10. She’s crazy, and I mean crazy crazy, not the good kind of crazy!

Things that Actually Came Out of My Mouth:

What I said: It’s good to hear your voice

What I meant: I miss you

What I said: I miss you

What I meant: I wish you were here

What I said: I wish you were here

What I meant: I wish you were here right now

What I said: That sounds interesting

What I meant: That sounds terrible

What I said: I think we can make that happen

What I meant: Call me when you figure that out

What I said: You owe me $79.00

What I meant: Where’s my moolah punk?

 

 

 no reservations

[1] Thanks for all of your kind words and thoughts for my family. Everyone is hanging in there. The final “home-going” service was beautiful and it was bittersweet to spend so much time with uncles, aunts and cousins that I don’t get to see often. I don’t want to go too far down this road or I’ll be hiccuping and crying, hungover off of shots of tequila, singing “Circle of Life” with fried chicken crumbs all over my sweatshirt. No, no internets you do not want to see that!

[2] So, ye old blog is officially 2 years old today. A special shout-out to my blog-mother, Erica. Who needs to um, update her blog…. Now that I’m back from hiatus and refreshed, I want to do some upgrades around these here parts and expand the scope of the blog a bit.

I’m not 100% sure what that means yet, but keep an eye out for a new look around here and if anyone knows a talented web developer that can help me out…shoot me a note. I’m deathly afraid of altering anything for fear of losing my archives. I am that brand of narcissist that actually likes to go back and read my own stuff, there I said it. Suck it!

[3] One of the most beloved gifts I received this year was Anthony Bourdain’s No Reservations. This is the book that I want to write, well, obviously he’s written this one, but something like this, that combines my minor talent for words, my sketchy photographic ability and my love for food with my absolute passion for walking around the planet asking everybody else what they’re doing.

My book will be loosely titled: With Some Hesitation: A Crazy.Black.Chick Stops by for Dinner. What do you think? Blockbuster right?!

You have to love a self-described “tall, goofy, white guy” who unabashedly drops “F” bombs and “Mother@#$@” all over the place. This ain’t your momma’s cookbook! It’s not a cookbook at all. it’s 1/4 food porn, 1/4 travel tales, 1/4 sentimental sap and 1/4 beautiful photos. I heart it so much that I want to sleep with it under my pillow.

[4] Has anyone else noticed that most everyone nowadays is anti-resolution? I am down with that. I haven’t made a resolution (for new year’s) in years. But I do have themes that have served as the catalyst for the last few years. As my dreams and goals for 2008 make themselves clear, I’ll share them here. I began by thinking, “how in the world can I top 2007?” and I realized that at 34.8 years old, I don’t have to.

So, what are your resolutions/non-resolutions? I really wanna know.

Parent’s Parents, ii

 

 

Crying, originally uploaded by funchilde.

She’s gone. Thanks for all of your prayers and kind thoughts for my Mother’s Mother. She passed yesterday as if to say that a new year held no appeal for/to her, she’d had enough, seen enough, done enough. My heart aches for my mother and her siblings.

I hope 2007 treated you well and that 2008 is the year that your dreams come true. Nobody deserves it more than you do, so be the star of your own show and the captain of your own ship. Be the center of your universe and the superhero in your story. Be the sun in your blue sky and the moon in your inky midnight. Be you…fully, wholly, unabashedly, hope-drenched, dream-tranced, blinded by optimism, choose your own adventure, love-filled….you. And get better at it every.single.day. Nobody deserves it more.

XO, 

Dia 

 

Zodiac Maniac

I’m not “into” astrology per se, but a good friend has me hooked on checking my horror-scope every now and then (I like Washington Post online/Yahoo). The funny thing is…I am pretty much the stereotypical Aries personified. I would consider myself “self-absorbed” versus “self-centered” but will admit that as a single, child-free, eldest child and entreprenuer….uhm, why wouldn’t I be? :-)  And yes, I know that having a blog is evidence enough!

I don’t think I’m overbearing, but I know that I have a “strong” personality. That gets balanced by my sincere curiosity about people and my (I pray) fairly complete lack of judgement of others. One of the best compliments I received recently (I hope it was a compliment!) was that I “treat everyone like they are the most interesting person you’ve met and you sincerely want to know all about them without regard to their “status” or what they can do for you.” 

I think on the surface that this is an awesome compliment (I’m claiming it as such!) but it ties back into the natural “egotism” (not always bad) of the Aries. I am generally so self confident that whatever I want to happen I can MAKE happen that I don’t think in terms of “needing” someone else to get there/get something I want. Unless of course we’re talking about nookie (and really, aren’t we always talking about that one way or another?) in that case, that is where the famous Aries charm comes in handy.

Contrary to our external personalities, Aries tend to be pretty emotional characters, very intuitive and empathetic. We’re highly romantic and fond of grand gestures and small pleasures alike. We like making money, but aren’t obsessed with it, believing there’s more where it came from.

The things I love about my sign (myself?) are: Generous, Intelligent, Charismatic, Leader, Passionate, Adventurous, Loyal, Romantic, Virtuous.

Things YOU might not like about an Aries: We’re Chatty, Stubborn, Impatient with Details and Easily Distracted, We typically don’t like routine and detest losing at almost anything.

What about you? Do you subscribe to astrological theory? Do you “match” your sign’s qualities and characteristics? Does your date/mate match theirs? 

 

Aries
March 21 – April 19 

 

Aries is the first Sign of the Zodiac, and that’s pretty much how those born under this Sign see themselves: first. Aries are the leaders of the pack, first in line to get things going. Whether or not everything gets done is another question altogether, for an Aries prefers to initiate rather than to complete. Do you have a project needing a kick-start? Call an Aries, by all means. The leadership displayed by Aries is most impressive, so don’t be surprised if they can rally the troops against seemingly insurmountable odds — they have that kind of personal magnetism. An Aries won’t shy away from new ground, either. Those born under this Sign are often called the pioneers of the Zodiac, and it’s their fearless trek into the unknown that often wins the day. Aries is a bundle of energy and dynamism, kind of like a Pied Piper, leading people along with its charm and charisma. The dawning of a new day — and all of its possibilities — is pure bliss to an Aries. 

Crazy Stew

Life is kind of chill these days, lots going on, but no one thing is out of control, I feel dare I say…balanced…sort of? I LOVED the response to the last blog entry. I’m always fascinated by what people like to read and how they came to love the habit. I think Erica said somewhere that book recommendations are like wine, totally dependent upon personal taste. I LOVE Shiraz for example, but you can keep your bottle of Beaujolaise! But I digress. I leave you with a “stew” of things that are amusing, disturbing, and hopefully interesting. At the worst, you’ll kill 10 minutes of your workday!

[1] My friend and Semester at Sea Colleague Michael Maniates has an article in the Washington Post (WaPo) about how our need for ‘easy’ ways to go green, isn’t actually getting anything done. He’s smart + funny, so you’ll enjoy him as much as I do!

[2] Speaking of articles, yall know I love Malcolm Gladwell, who do I love MORE than Malcolm? David Sedaris of course, who has a hilarious piece in Esquire titled: “Six to Eight Black Men” and it is as ridonkulous (as SpinChick would say) as it sounds.

[3] I’m a badass/dumbass (take your pick).

Example number one: I was out until almost 2am on Friday night/Sat a.m. and my friend/colleague SpinChick still managed to drag me to an 8am Spin Class. I wasn’t particularly conversant at that time but I do remember mumbling something about “I hate your guts” but I’m not sure. At one point I looked over and she had rolled up her right t-shirt sleeve and she had a fake tattoo of a diesel truck on her bicep and I almost fell off the bike laughing.

Example number two: I went to bed considerably earlier on Saturday night but with more wine in my system (what?! you’ve never heard of the wine diet? it’s kind of like south beach with less food and more tannins) and managed to make it to the 9am Spin Class with KJ in tow. There were no fighting words or fake tattoos that time. But lots and lots of 80’s classic rock music.

Example number three: I am doing an Introductory Karate course in the Shorin Ryu style and I’m enjoying it. But every now and then I get the feeling that I’m a little too old to be messing around with this. My 23 year old private tutor has been studying this style for….16 years and after a workout with him on Friday night I finally understood the reasoning behind hip replacement surgery. So if you see me hobbling down the street with an uneven gait…don’t even stop to say Hi, just keep it moving and let me live my teenaged dreams in my (near) middle-aged body.

[4] I finished Kickboxing Geishas and I loved.every.page. It was a fun, fast read and having been to a couple of the cities in Japan that the author visits made it more accessible. Definitely a recommended read for any Japanophiles. I am hoping to keep my eyes open long enough to start Stumbling on Happiness.

[5] I have a good friend who has returned to the often baffling, sometimes seedy and always entertaining world of dating. I have decided that observing a close friend date and experiencing their ups and downs is WAYYYYY better than actually doing it myself. All the fun, none of the expense and no STDs!

Speaking of dating, here’s two quotes that will be not at all applicable to my dear readers:

1. “You don’t pay prostitutes to sleep with you, you pay prostitutes to LEAVE.” (from the film Four Brothers which I watched saturday night w/ KJ).

2. “You’ll always lose money chasing women, but you’ll never lose women chasing money.”

There you have it folks! Words to live by! Aren’t you glad you checked in? Don’t worry about that slimy, nauseous feeling, it’ll pass!

Hey, can someone buy this for me? I heard this record out at a martini bar recently, and I must make it mine!

 

Get Your Bookworm On

The Between Boyfriends Book: A Collection of Cautiously Hopeful Essays

Erica and her boo were talking about their reading habits, how it developed, what they’re reading now and the obstacles to a more robust bibliophilic life. They’ve also taken up a reading challenge which I think is a cool way to push yourself.

I developed the reading habit early on, praised for my abilities in first grade, that compliment fueled an above average vocabulary and a voracious appetite for books. My room as a teenager would be pretty spotless, but if you looked under my bed…dozens of books. My favorites were Judy Blume, Madeline L’Engle and then Stephen King. But I read almost anything, trashy romances, Reader’s Digest Condensed Books, whatever.

I never developed much of a TV habit, even now I haven’t seen my favorite shows (Grey’s Anatomy or 30 Rock) in weeks but I almost always have a book going. I just finished Tourist Season: Stories by Enid Shomer, which I’d recommend if you are into short, character driven stories. I liked it but probably won’t read it again. Prior to that I was reading The Between Boyfriends Book (hilarious!) and Female Chauvanist Pigs (hilarious but smart!) at the same time, which I tend to do, read a “light” tome and something “heavier” at the same time. Sometimes I’ll have 3 books going at once.

Like most readers I have both a physical pile of “To Be Read” and an Amazon Wishlist full of dream books. I’m starting Kickboxing Geishas tonight which I’m looking forward to and I owe a copy of FCP to a friend who is in grad school, but I might have to buy her her own copy because I CAN see reading this one again.

Some of my favorite books of all time:

The World According To Garp, A Prayer For Owen Meany, IT, The Secret History, The Vintner’s Luck, Their Eyes Were Watching God, Honeymoon With My Brother, PUSH, Holidays On Ice, A Memory of Running, Children of Ham, The Alchemist, Vagabonding, The Power of One, The Bible (seriously) and The Way Forward is With a Broken Heart.

One book I’ve tried to read twice and just give up on: Angela’s Ashes by Frank McCourt.

Book Bandwagon that I haven’t jumped on: Harry Potter.

Let’s hear some of yours…

Oh and also, if you are a reader have you ever seriously dated a non-reader or someone with lopsided reading habits from your own? For example, one of my exes didn’t read alot of books but was a ravenous newspaper nerd, another ex doesn’t read alot of fiction but is into finance, real estate and personal development stuff. I was joking with a friend recently and we both agreed that we have fallen a little bit in lurve with someone based solely on their bookshelf. I know, I’m so shallow!

 

Happy Happy Turkey Day, Yall

I woke up yesterday and looked out the window to find snow, snow on the ground, snow falling. I cut my workday short and got the hell out of New England. This morning I shed my layers, wool sweater, Columbia wicking socks, fleece and sped towards my parent’s house in the glorious, 70 degree sunshine. I am truly thankful for changes in lattitude. I miss my housemates though.

I am grateful for so many things, and this year has been magical. The last couple of years really, and I thank everyone who has touched me and those I love in some way. I’m also glad that my mother’s mother is still hanging in there. And sometimes, that’s enough. I’m also grateful that my Dad is cooking turkey, my Mom has made sauerkraut and sweet potatoe pie, my nephew made his 5 cheese and macaroni and his Eclair cake. So I will be the recipient of all of their culinary talents. I will definitely be giving Thanks for that!

So, are you cooking or are you showing up at someone else’s house to eat? Holler at us in the comments.

 

Wisdom

“There are no shortcuts in life or in love. This pain must be felt. The alternative is much worse. It’s what makes us special, what makes us beautiful, what makes us worthy; the pain of how we love. But that pain is accompanied by something else, isn’t it? Hope. With your pain, there is hope. And that is where you are. Somewhere between agony and optimism and prayer. So you’re human. You’re alive. And that is what we have.”

 -unknown

Sometimes

Sometimes you’re lucky enough to realize that life is what happens in between breaths. It’s not the big things that stick with you, it’s the little moments of wonder that look innocuous on the surface that mean the most.

I got to see the Dartmouth College Gospel Choir perform today. It was among other things, just what I needed. I marveled at how beautiful the students looked in their youthful innocence, how fresh-faced and unmoved by life’s true troubles they seemed to be. The beautiful diaspora of ethnicities, the harmonious union of boy and girl voices, the unabashed joy at sharing their joy with us. The sensation of being in a packed auditorium with other celebrants, a private excitement wrapped in a public exuberance.

I love music, I’m particularly touched by great gospel music, and I was so certain that I would well up with unshed tears that I wear close to the surface when I hear gospel, that I brought a handkerchief. I am sentimental. I am super-sensitive. I am a sap. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. And no, I didn’t use the handkerchief. But I’m glad that I know myself well enough, and love myself fully enough to have brought it without fear.

Maple Leaf Madness

Hallo from Canada!

[1] I’m pre-sick. You know that feeling where your head is fuzzy, feels like a 50 lb bowling ball, kind of head-achey and all you want to do is lean your head against a cool pane of glass and sleep? yeah, that is how I feel.

[2] On the way to Montreal I sat in front of a guy who, no lie, was either drunk or coming down off of something. He kept moving around, changing seats, coughing & sneezing and as we neared the end of the trip he started spouting profanities. Not to anyone in particular, but just in general. In the end I ended up touching him, to wake him up and let him know we’d arrived. Don’t worry, the only thing I could bring myself to touch was his shoe.

[3] At the Canadian border:

Immigration/Border Guy (IBG): You sure do pack light lady.

Me: I try, makes the travel more fun.

IBG: (inspecting my passport) When was the last time you were in Canada?

Me: Uh, I’m kind of ashamed but I’ve been about everywhere except Canada

IBG: (poking through the stamps in my passport) Yeah, I can see that…

[4] I love the Hotel Intercontinental so much that I want to take it out behind a middle school and get it pregnant* I thought the one in Montreal was nice, but the one in Toronto…class-ay! I also got a free upgrade to the executive level wherein I strolled around and got my free drink, hoity-toity finger sandwiches and some hot tea for my anti-pre-sick campaign. Then I had to go to work, because this afro ain’t gonna oil itself!

[5] When I left Montreal to head to Toronto…it was snowing. God help me, I don’t know if I’m going to make it. I haven’t spent a winter in the US in TWO YEARS!! Now I remember WHY!

[6] In response to all the frenchy-frenchness of Canada I have adopted an almost sociopathic southern drawl, insisting upon replying to the “Bonjour Madame!” with “Howdy, Howdy!” Yes, yes I am that brand of ridiculous. 

*30 Rock reference